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 amybowles1996@gmail.com 

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An in-depth "About Me"

"The brain is wider than the sky"  Emily Dickinson                                               I felt the start of my blog needed to be more about myself. I must add that this blog will not constantly be about my own experience. My mental wellbeing started to flail when I was around 10 or 11. My family and friends noticed a huge difference from the big, bright-eyed and bubbly girl who had always been laughing and happy, to someone drenched with depression and self-harming every day.  Early Years  Over ten years on, I cannot remember how or why I started to develop mental illness. My earliest memory was scratching myself when I was angry and feeling the intense release it gave me. From then on this was my coping mechanism and I adopted the habit of doing it every day. I became very different from everyone else, I started...
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Hi Self-Critical voice, Piss Off!

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind" William James I have this OVER self-CRITICAL and self-LOATHING voice that makes me feel crap. It ruins my day and makes me sink lower. It makes me question my decisions and my thoughts. It's essentially a bully and makes me feel as if I'm being bullied, by myself.  My appearance  The clothes I wear Life choices  If I make the tiniest mistake at work  Uni assignments  In social situations (THIS IS MAJOR) Over the past year, I have been working hard to try and eradicate this inner voice. At times, it has worked so much, but when my anxiety has spiked or I am feeling low it creeps back up on me. Here are a few methods I have used to prevent the critical voice from bullying me. 1.     The realisation that this is just an inner voice and isn't a "true voice" I have many inner voices, the voic...
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2017: Rambles about my shit year at the start of February in the NEXT year when I am supposed to be doing University work

Last fucking year. Arguably the worst year of my life that contained loss, hurt, heartbreak. In the bleakest of times I wasn’t sure that I would see 2018. From ambulances to hospital admissions, I made it to 2018, a stronger, more well-rounded person than I was before. Am I full okay? Nope, but my fuck am I better than last year. IM WRITING THIS 2 MONTHS AFTER THE BEGINNING OF 2018  because university has filled up all my time and I needed time to reflect on last year. I found last year incredibly hard for several reasons including losing a man so dear to me to cancer, breaking up from a long-term relationship, the loss of a family friend and news of family members becoming unwell. It was a year I felt completely numb and started to really distance myself from who I really was and didn’t become the nicest person. I also found it so difficult to express my emotions and tackle the ones I was fighting. The feeling of numbness was the worst last year than I can remember ev...
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