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 amybowles1996@gmail.com 

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An in-depth "About Me"

"The brain is wider than the sky"  Emily Dickinson                                               I felt the start of my blog needed to be more about myself. I must add that this blog will not constantly be about my own experience. My mental wellbeing started to flail when I was around 10 or 11. My family and friends noticed a huge difference from the big, bright-eyed and bubbly girl who had always been laughing and happy, to someone drenched with depression and self-harming every day.  Early Years  Over ten years on, I cannot remember how or why I started to develop mental illness. My earliest memory was scratching myself when I was angry and feeling the intense release it gave me. From then on this was my coping mechanism and I adopted the habit of doing it every day. I became very different from everyone else, I started...
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Hi Self-Critical voice, Piss Off!

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind" William James I have this OVER self-CRITICAL and self-LOATHING voice that makes me feel crap. It ruins my day and makes me sink lower. It makes me question my decisions and my thoughts. It's essentially a bully and makes me feel as if I'm being bullied, by myself.  My appearance  The clothes I wear Life choices  If I make the tiniest mistake at work  Uni assignments  In social situations (THIS IS MAJOR) Over the past year, I have been working hard to try and eradicate this inner voice. At times, it has worked so much, but when my anxiety has spiked or I am feeling low it creeps back up on me. Here are a few methods I have used to prevent the critical voice from bullying me. 1.     The realisation that this is just an inner voice and isn't a "true voice" I have many inner voices, the voic...
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Why I don't use therapy anymore

“Think of your head as an unsafe neighbourhood; don't go there alone.”  For years, I have seen various psychologists and therapists, from child to adolescent and then adult. I have had group therapy, Cognitive behavioural therapy and EMDR (which is used to suppress old memories that cause distress). In the past I have found it incredibly helpful to speak to a therapist and have often found myself getting to the heart of why I feel the way I do. I have learn`pt so many techniques on how to calm myself down before panic attacks, how to prevent myself from self-harming, how to ignore negative and self-critical thoughts etc. However, therapy just doesn’t feel helpful anymore. The main reason therapy doesn’t feel helpful anymore is because sitting in a room, detailing my problems, why I feel the way I do, reminds me that I am mentally ill. I have to admit all of my problems and have to try and accept it all over again. I am at a point of my illness that it is accepted, i...
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