Hi Self-Critical voice, Piss Off!

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind" William James

I have this OVER self-CRITICAL and self-LOATHING voice that makes me feel crap. It ruins my day and makes me sink lower. It makes me question my decisions and my thoughts. It's essentially a bully and makes me feel as if I'm being bullied, by myself. 
  • My appearance 
  • The clothes I wear
  • Life choices 
  • If I make the tiniest mistake at work 
  • Uni assignments 
  • In social situations (THIS IS MAJOR)
Over the past year, I have been working hard to try and eradicate this inner voice. At times, it has worked so much, but when my anxiety has spiked or I am feeling low it creeps back up on me. Here are a few methods I have used to prevent the critical voice from bullying me.

1.    The realisation that this is just an inner voice and isn't a "true voice"
I have many inner voices, the voice that laughs at my funny joke when no one else does, the voice that makes a joke of something when I'm on my own. They can be pleasant, this is the true inner voice, this is "you". That's what I have to remember, that the self-loathing and critical voice is just another voice and that isn't a representation of myself.

2.    Questioning why the self-loathing and self-critical voice is the most prominent
This voice is not constant, however when it does start I question why it is starting. Am I feeling low? Am I uncomfortable in the situation? When you have addressed why the voice is starting then you can address finding a method of stopping it.
I usually pay more attention to the self-critical voice in times when I am distressed or in bad situations, such as in a large group of people, or meeting people for the first time. Then the voice will say “why would they like you, you’re (BLAH BLAH BLAH), they hate you, you’re a joke”. When I have found the reason for why the inner voice is speaking, I can address how to stop it.

            Sometimes this is extremely difficult.

3.    Telling the voice to PISS OFF.
In some situations, merely telling the voice to do one works. Although it can be strange when I’m at work telling myself to shut up because I’ve just made a mistake and the inner voice has started (you look odd, shrug it off!). However, this doesn’t work in times of serious distress.

4.    Taking yourself away from the situation
When the voice starts in a situation and you’ve already tried to shrug it off, removing yourself from the situation can ease the voice. You haven’t let it win, you just need more time to work out a method to combat it.
I find that taking myself away from certain situations does help, even if it is for a quick five minutes in the toilet. It allows me to stabilise and ground myself before going back into the situation. It isn’t unknown for me to also leave the situation altogether if it gets too much. Those are the bad times, I try not to let that happen.

5.    Battling the inner voice
The voice can say what it wishes, but I can say something to rule it out! I still struggle with his as I have always been critical of my looks etc. This method entails checking yourself out in the mirror, telling yourself the assignment you submitted was fab, telling yourself your hair and makeup is on point. Little points that make yourself feel good!
I find that if I try and boost myself and make myself feel confident, I don’t let the self-critical voice affect me as much and I can go about my day without interruptions. Instead of letting the inner voice bully me, I challenge it.

I find this method the most effective as it doesn’t just beat them in a certain situation, but also tries to eradicate them completely.


It is good to be critical and sometimes to analyse what you are doing or what you are about to do. But not to the point that it makes you ill, not to the point when that voice is all you can listen to. 
It is so hard to stop listening to inner voice and it is easy to underestimate the power that it has on your wellbeing.
            Don’t let it win.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

2017: Rambles about my shit year at the start of February in the NEXT year when I am supposed to be doing University work

Last fucking year. Arguably the worst year of my life that contained loss, hurt, heartbreak. In the bleakest of times I wasn’t sure that I would see 2018. From ambulances to hospital admissions, I made it to 2018, a stronger, more well-rounded person than I was before. Am I full okay? Nope, but my fuck am I better than last year. IM WRITING THIS 2 MONTHS AFTER THE BEGINNING OF 2018  because university has filled up all my time and I needed time to reflect on last year. I found last year incredibly hard for several reasons including losing a man so dear to me to cancer, breaking up from a long-term relationship, the loss of a family friend and news of family members becoming unwell. It was a year I felt completely numb and started to really distance myself from who I really was and didn’t become the nicest person. I also found it so difficult to express my emotions and tackle the ones I was fighting. The feeling of numbness was the worst last year than I can remember ever f
Read more

An in-depth "About Me"

"The brain is wider than the sky"  Emily Dickinson                                               I felt the start of my blog needed to be more about myself. I must add that this blog will not constantly be about my own experience. My mental wellbeing started to flail when I was around 10 or 11. My family and friends noticed a huge difference from the big, bright-eyed and bubbly girl who had always been laughing and happy, to someone drenched with depression and self-harming every day.  Early Years  Over ten years on, I cannot remember how or why I started to develop mental illness. My earliest memory was scratching myself when I was angry and feeling the intense release it gave me. From then on this was my coping mechanism and I adopted the habit of doing it every day. I became very different from everyone else, I started listening to different music and wearing different clothes, which caused me to get bullied. This only made my depression and self-har
Read more

Scars

“ Other times, I look at my scars and see something else: a girl who was trying to cope with something horrible that she should never have had to live through at all. My scars show pain and suffering, but they also show my will to survive. They're part of my history that'll always be there.”  ―  Cheryl Rainfield ,  Scars Something that is seriously not discussed enough, something that people fear. We’ve all done it, the girl in the shop, the boy on the bus, those little white lines that litter their arms and body, we look, we even stare. People who are trying so desperately to hide them with arm bands, bandages, plasters. And then people who embrace them, people who aren’t afraid to show what they’ve been through. It is one of the scariest things to do, opening up to people and showing people what you’ve been through. When people look down at your arms or see your legs or your torso and they stop for a second and process what they’re seeing. Sometimes you see shock, s
Read more