Hi Brain... Why you gotta be difficult?

“ Other times, I look at my scars and see something else: a girl who was trying to cope with something horrible that she should never have had to live through at all. My scars show pain and suffering, but they also show my will to survive. They're part of my history that'll always be there.”  ―  Cheryl Rainfield ,  Scars Something that is seriously not discussed enough, something that people fear. We’ve all done it, the girl in the shop, the boy on the bus, those little white lines that litter their arms and body, we look, we even stare. People who are trying so desperately to hide them with arm bands, bandages, plasters. And then people who embrace them, people who aren’t afraid to show what they’ve been through. It is one of the scariest things to do, opening up to people and showing people what you’ve been through. When people look down at your arms or see your legs or your torso and they stop for a second and process what they’re seeing. Sometimes you see sh...

“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.”  ―  Amy Bloom Today I wore my cropped Motorhead jumper since gaining even more weight. No, you can’t see any bare skin unless I lift my arms, I’m not wearing a single piece of material just to cover my breasts. Maybe I’m not as brave as others to reveal my stomach. But fuck it, I’m trying to embrace what I have, owning what I am and how I look. Today, I said fuck you to bullshit beauty standards. I used to be thin when I was younger, around 10 or 11 stone. I still hated myself then. I hated the way my belly used to stick out and how my bum and boobs were much bigger than everyone else. I felt like a freak when I used to have to wear a bra at age 10/11. I used to pinch the tiny little bit of fat on me and called myself obese, never going out in anything too skimpy or in anything that would show my stomach. I genuinely thought I was massive looking in the mirror. If I had any advice for m...

“Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”  Corrie ten Boom The title of this blog really sums up anxiety, it’s the ultimate hell. No matter how hard you try and turn it off, at times it just doesn’t go away, it just lingers. Out of all my mental health, anxiety is the one I struggle the most with. It’s present every day in my life. Sometimes, it’s not that bad, but it can be crippling.   You can research the both the physical and psychological symptoms of anxiety, but unless you research into blogs, no one really tells you what it’s like day in, day out. I find my physical symptoms are raised temperature, increased and irregular heartbeat, anxiety belly (the feeling of emptiness in my stomach made worse by the feeling of butterflies), hot flushes and at times panic attacks. This often leads to diff...